I love the scene in "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" where all the kids are standing around on the sidewalk surveying the goods they've collected from trick-or-treating. "I got a popcorn ball," says one kid. "I got a fudge bar," "I got a pack of gum." And then, every time, poor Charlie Brown says, "I got a rock."

Growing up in Fairfield in the 1970's, I remember my brothers plotting out their strategy for Halloween night. They'd go around the block and the side streets, and then head up Sasco Hill where all the rich people lived. Rumor had it that that's where the good stuff could be found.

In the hierarchy of Halloween candy, you have the bottom-tier junk like raisins and apples (and, I suppose if you're Charlie Brown, rocks.) In the middle are the "Fun Size" Butterfingers, Snickers, Milky Ways and Kit Kats, little boxes of Dots, and Twizzlers, and then, at the top of the pyramid, the Holy Grail, if you will: Full-size candy bars. On Halloween night, if you scored a two-pack of Reese's or a regular Snickers, you could consider your trick-or-treating duties to be done. There's a sense of adventure and excitement to it all, kind of like the Big Deal of the Day on "Let's Make a Deal." What could be behind the door? Would it be a Fun Size Milky Way or a fistful of candy corn? A box of Dots or—please, please, please—a big Almond Joy.

Well, wonder no more. If a full-sized candy bar is what you're seeking this Halloween, I'm about to reveal the place where you're guaranteed to get one. It's not at the top of Sasco Hill, nor Greenfield Hill for that matter. In fact, it's in the most unlikely of places: The rectory at St. Anthony Church on South Pine Creek Road.

Fr. John Baran has been the pastor at St. Anthony's for the past eight years. "I was so psyched when I became pastor because then I got to be the guy to give out candy," he said.

Like me, Fr. John has a particular affinity for Halloween. "It's just fun," he said. "It's an imaginative holiday. Particularly in this age of all this computer stuff, it's just a fun, imaginative time. For most kids, it's about the candy and having fun, walking around at night."

That first year when Fr. John was at the helm of the front door, he said he had stocked up on plenty of boxes of big candy bars from B.J.'s Wholesale Club in Fairfield. He invited some friends over to help give out candy, and they waited. And they waited. And they waited. "We had four kids," he said. "It was so disappointing. I thought, 'This is not good.' "

So the next year, he wrote an invitation in the weekly bulletin, inviting parishioners to stop by on their trick-or-treating rounds. That year he did a little better, with 50 visitors.

Now it's become a competition to break the previous year's record. "Last year we had 187 kids and 24 adults," he said. "A friend of mine does the counting. That's his job. That's all he has to worry about."

In addition to humans, Fr. John has also had a couple of costumed dogs show up. "No cats yet, though. They're above that," he said.

Last year brought a rather apropos visitor to the rectory door. "Jesus showed up," said Fr. John. "It was a high school kid with a big smile on his face. I said, 'You do realize this is a rectory?' But because he had enough guts to ring the bell, I gave him two candy bars," he said. With "Jesus" were two un-costumed friends who apparently were there for moral support—and big candy bars.

"Halloween is just a nice time to get friends together," said Fr. John. "The whole making of a costume and talking with neighbors, it's just fun."

As for Fr. John, he prefers not to dress up. "You're jumping up and down all night. It's too much. It gets hot," he said.

This year, he is prepared to once again break the record. He said he has about 250 candy bars on hand. "Bring it on," he said. "I'm ready."

(from the Oct. 24 bulletin)

Dear Parishioners,

187.

That's the number we have to break this year, and I'm ready if you are. Eight very large boxes have been stashed on the bottom shelf of the pantry, stashed there to keep them safe … from me. You see, they are filled with Snickers, Kit Kats, Butterfingers, Milky Ways, Three Musketeers, Hershey Bars (with and without almonds), and even some non-chocolate goodies like Skittles and Starbursts. All top tier. All regular size. All to be doled out to the goblins and gremlins who come to the door next Sunday night on All Hallow's Eve - if they last that long! The box of Kit Kats is already a little lighter …

So dress 'em up and drive 'em over in droves, transport 'em by the truckload, and let's break another record of trick-or-treaters at the rectory this year!