Checked In On Your Dreams Lately? How Are They Doing Without You?

“To the degree we're not living our dreams, our comfort zone has more control of us than we have over ourselves.”  Peter McWilliams

Are you living your dreams? Or more clearly stated, does your daily life consist of what you have dreamt of? For some of us, the answer is a resounding “No, not even close.” We run around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to balance our children’s needs, our household chores, our employment demands, and our relationship dynamics. Our heartfelt dreams don’t fit into that schematic at all. Is this really the life that we wanted to create and have chosen for ourselves? Really? And if not, then why don’t we change it?

I explored how many of us have great difficulty with personal change and how we can’t change other people. And the primary reason that we don’t even explore how to change is because it’s frightening, and the unknown awaits us on the other side. For example, even if a person has a serious health issue like a heart attack and they are told to change their lifestyle or die, many people will stay the same course and they do die! How crazy and sad is that? 

Perhaps positive change isn’t needed in our lifestyle but rather in a discordant personal relationship. Many individuals are unhappy in their partnerships and they have lived that way for years. They perpetually hold onto hope that things will improve but won’t make any changes themselves because it means a whole lot of uncertainly, a whole lot of fear, and a whole lot of unknown. 

In work situations, some people dislike their job. We have all had co-workers who complain incessantly but are still employed at the same place year after year.  Their excuse for not leaving ranges from “it’s all I know” to “it’s a bad economy” to “I’m too old (or too young) to change now.”  It is more comfortable for those individuals to be miserable day after day, then to take on some risk. Even if their ongoing stress does ultimately end in another issue (as it often does), they still won’t consider a move. Rather, at that point they will then focus their energy on dealing with their health issue, their drinking problem, or their relationship strife.  The fact that it all started with how unhappy they were at their job is now safely tucked away and they can stay put.

Human beings are amazingly resilient and in service to that resilience and survival, there is little impetus to change. However, dreams are in a different realm than survival. Where survival is a primitive instinct, dreaming is a desire, a vision, and a higher brain activity. Dreams are all about us and what we want. So, when you lay out your dreams and your instinctive need to survive side-by-side, survival always wins. That is why so many people find it hard to leave their comfort zone make the changes necessary to pursue their dreams.

The bottom line to all of this is that if you are truly unhappy, you often risk more in maintaining the status quo. Be it at work, in a partnership, or with your health. Unhappiness has risks of its own and trust me when I tell you that the negative energy will be expressed somewhere in your life, despite the most sustained and vigilant of efforts to deny it. 

It is my belief that we are here to grow, to expand our spirit and to connect with others in a productive, helpful, joyful and loving way. We all have the potential to be happy. It is always our choice which is a tremendous gift that life gives to us, and also a tremendous challenge. But being true to my passion for coaching -- I really do think that you can get busy and take that first step toward positive change. Your dreams are waiting.

Life Coach Liz Hoffmann, BA, MBA, CPC owns Atlas Coaching LLC.  She works with clients in her Fairfield Center Office by appointment.  For a free initial consultation and to discuss if coaching is right for you, or to schedule an appointment with Liz, please send her an email at Liz@AtlasCoaching.net  Or for more information please visit her website at http://www.AtlasCoaching.net