Health & Fitness
8 Reasons Why Tax Planning Is A Complete Waste of Time
Here are 8 scientifically-proven reasons why tax planning is a bad idea for 2012!
Hello everyone! I know this goes against everything I have ever told you before. On a daily basis, I am on the phones or meeting with people and talking to them until I am blue in the face about all of the amazing benefits of tax planning. The more you plan, the less you pay. The average annual tax savings of $10,310 I deliver to my typical proactive tax planning client. Not worrying about getting caught off-guard by a huge tax surprise at the end of the year. The peace of mind that comes along with knowing you have a tax watchdog out there strategizing your every financial move.
Yup, throw all of that out the window in 2012. This year, tax planning is a complete waste of your time and mine. Here are 8 reasons why that is true.
1. The Mayans were incredible at building highly accurate astrological equipment. Thousands of years ago, they were able to calculate the length of the lunar moon as 329.53020 days. They were off by a whopping 34 seconds. So they clearly know their stuff. Well, they also predicted that the earth will end on December 21, 2012. So don't bother doing any tax planning this year because we won't be here long enough to reap the benefits.
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2. Solar experts have seen an incredible amount of instability in the sun's atmosphere recently, and sun storms have been bombarding the earth knocking out power grids and destroying satellites. The predict the activity will get worse, and their calculations show the activity will peak sometime in 2012, which of course would bake any tax plans I would work so hard to develop for you.
3. Scientists in Europe are currently building the world's largest particle accelerator, a 27 kilometer tunnel designed to smash atoms together to find out what makes the universe tick. This mega-magnet concerns many experts, who fear once the "on" switch is flipped, will cause a chaos of mini black holes and the world would be crushed into a super dense blob the size of basketball, making all of my tax plans just a pile of dribble.
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4. Many interpretations of the Bible reveal the date for Armageddon is set for 2012. The I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes says the same thing. Various sections of the Hindu teachings say the same thing. If so many religions can agree this is true, then any tax planning I could do for you simply doesn't have a prayer.
5. Yellowstone Volcano is the largest volcano in the world, and it has a pattern of erupting every 650,000 years, and is way past due. Experts predict 2012 is the most likely date for the next Yellowstone big bang to occur. An eruption is predicted to fill our atmosphere with so much ash that Earth would plunge into a frozen winter lasting some 15,000 years. So let's put our tax planning on ice for now.
6. Physicists at Berkeley University have determined that the earth is simply long overdue for a major catastrophic event. (Apparently Clint Eastwood have a meltdown and yelling at an empty chair doesn't count). Furthermore, they calculate to a 99% degree of certainty that 2012 is the year something big will happen. I'll pause while you cancel our upcoming tax planning session.
7. Of course you are aware that Earth is surrounded by a magnetic field that protects us from the sun's radiation. The magnetic poles we call north and south tend to flip around every 750,000 years. We are currently 30,000 years overdue for that to happen again. Yes, we are living on borrowed time. A switch can easily occur in 2012 and the UV would burn us all to a crisp within seconds, and that fancy schmancy tax plan I worked so hard to write would just go up in smoke.
8. All science aside, there is simply no way 2013 can arrive. Dick Clark has passed away, and no other human being, including Ryan Seacrest, is properly qualified to ring in the New Year in Times Square. So when the ball drops on New Year's Eve, it is true that Earth will simply vanish. Phew, so at least we don't have to worry about the Bush Tax Cuts expiring!
There you have it. Eight scientifically-proven reasons why tax planning in 2012 is a complete waste of our time. So save your time, save your money, and go be with your family. I enjoyed working with you.
However, if you want to meet with me to do some tax planning (you know, just in case!) then give me a call at 203-767-7197 and book an appointment.
Farewell and god bless.
Robert Gambardella, CPA CTC
